Celebrate Life

Over the past week, I've been bombarded by death. We all have really, with the multiple celebrity deaths, specifically the beloved Michael Jackson. But then I also had a close friend lose her grandmother last week, so a few close friends road tripped it to South Carolina on Sunday to attend the funeral and be by our friend's side.

The combination of these events got me thinking what I want my funeral to be like. First of all, I want it to be a celebration of life. No matter when I go-even if it's tomorrow, I believe God's blessed me with a full, abundant life, so I want people to celebrate this blessing of life that God gives us. My favorite way to celebrate is dancing, so I want a big dance party with all my favorite songs that I love to dance and sing at the top of my lungs. The following is a glimpse of my celebration playlist:

1. Holiday-Madonna
2. Bombs Over Baghdad-Outkast
3. Man in the Mirror-Michael Jackson
4. Change-Tupac
5. I'll be missing you-P. Diddy version
6. Pour some Sugar on me-Def Leopard
7. Dancing on the Ceiling-Lionel Ritchie
8. PYT-Michael Jackson
9. Bye Bye Bye-'N Sync
10. Step by Step-New Kids on the Block
11. Don't Stop Believing-Journey
12. The Way you make me Feel-Michael Jackson
13. Like a Prayer-Madonna
14. Low-Flo Rida
15. Sunday Bloody Sunday-U2
16. All Night Long-Lionel Ritchie

This is just a sample of songs, that I wouldn't necessarily label amazing music, so don't judge me. But they are all songs that when I hear them come on, I grab the closest fake microphone and sing at the top of my lungs and start shaking my hips. It's music that makes me happy.

I want the tears to turn from sad to happy and that silly stories are shared that makes everyone laugh. With all the death that's happened this week, it's amazing to hear the accomplishments, the blessing and the mark these people have made on the world. Hearing my friend share the influence that her grandmother had in her life and others lives was a beautiful reminder that life is a gift from God, and we have a chance to make something amazing of it. Although the loss is sad, overall the thumbprint we make in God's story is worth celebrating. So if I go to be with Jesus tomorrow, I want my funeral to be a party.

Childhood Reminder #4: Michael Jackson

Where do I start? A piece of my childhood died yesterday. I LOVED Michael Jackson as a child. While most girls were into Madonna and Debbie Gibson, I was into Michael Jackson. I don't remember too much about the Thriller obsession, because I was only 2, but I do remember having nightmares from seeing the music video on MTV. And does anyone remember the Captain Eo attraction at Disneyworld? Yeah, I saw it..and just like every other kid was completely mezmerized.

A music legend left us today. I'm not going to talk about the troubled Michael Jackson, as that was a result of his abusive upbringing and exploitation. I want to remember the Michael Jackson that I knew as a kid....John Mayer put it best with "I truly hope he is memorialized as the '83 moonwalking, MTV owning, mesmerizing, unstoppable, invincible Michael Jackson."

When old school Michael Jackson comes on, you can't help but dance! I'm listening to "Bad" right now as I write this, shaking my shoulders and bobbing my head. It's like my body has a mind of it's own when it comes to this music. Last night, Kay and I were on our way to Yacht Rock at Ten High, but then I heard "Man in the Mirror" blasting on the jukebox inside The Dard Horse. The music took over, and we quickly ran inside and danced the night away with strangers to all the MJ classics. It truly is dynamic and captivating.

Remember the old school Michael Jackson? This man came ALIVE when he was on stage. He defined pop music and created dance moves that made our jaws drop. Music, dancing and entertaining was all he ever knew....it was what made him the King of Pop and what may have ultimately killed him. As tragic as Michael's story ended, I remember and celebrate the musical mark that he left on the world.

SOPO is What the Church should be

SOPO is what church is supposed to be. SOPO stands for "South of Ponce", and it's a community project that encourages cycling. Their mission statement is "to create equitable access to cycling by providing affordable bicycle maintenance, services and education." But it's so much more than that.

I've been spending a lot of time there because I bought a vintage road bike that was a real fixer-upper. I love my bike..it's become my baby because I have lubbed it, replaced all the rusty cables, gotten it new tires, etc. And all this I did myself and for FREE, because of SOPO. At SOPO, you can build a bike from scratch for practically nothing because you build it using donated parts. However, you have to build it yourself, but that's what makes it so freakin' cool!

From the first night I showed up there, the community at SOPO was eager to help me with my bike project. I timidly walked up a little lost sorority girl among a sea of hipsters, but at SOPO they don't judge. It doesn't matter where you come from or what you look like, the SOPO community embraces and welcomes you.

There's bike experts that come up there just to help people and educate them on how to fix their bike. Everyone is working together, helping and teaching each other about their bikes. Serving one another and building relationships through working together.

There is also a place for the homeless at SOPO. There are homeless people that build their bikes and are also regular volunteers who teach dumb people like me how to pimp their bike out. SOPO embraces the homeless community and gives them a place where they belong and can be used.

SOPO is what the church should be...inclusive, non-judgemental, relational, serving and reaching out to the broken....just like Jesus.

Childhood Reminder #3: Wendy's Frosty

Today on the way home from the beach, Jed and I were driving through the small town of Eufala, AL and stopped at Wendy's for lunch. I don't eat much fast food anymore. If I do, it's usually Chic-fil-A. But it's hard to avoid fast food on a road trip, and being that there wasn't much to choose from in Eufala, Wendy's it was!

I cannot go to Wendy's without getting a Frosty. This softserve ice cream is the perfect blend of chocolaty sweetness. I love when it starts melting around the edges. But most importantly, it reminds me of childhood. My best friend's mom used to always take Lara and me through the Wendy's drive-thru to get Frostys.

Nowadays when you order a Frosty, you have to specify which flavor...Chocolate or Vanilla? I always forget this, because when I was a child, these options didn't exist. It was chocolate..that was it; plain, simple and delicious. Wendy's has even ventured into making the "Frosty-cino", which is their version of a Frappacino. They continue to try and remorph the Frosty with Frosty shakes, Frosty floats and then the Twisted Frosty, which is basically a rip-off of the Dairy Queen blizzard (another childhood reminder).

But no matter how enticing the marketing team at Wendy's tries to make those imposter Frostys look, nothing can replace the original chocolate Frosty. The Frosty of the Frostys. Because it takes me back to those days as a child going through the drive thru with Lara after one of our tennis clinics or just riding through town running errands on a hot summer day. Yummy.

Guest Blogger: Guy's perspective on the "Good Things" about Dating

Ok, ladies and gentleman. I recently had a very enlightening conversation with a guy friend on what else, but DATING! It all began when I was telling him about another Nashville friend, Andy Merrick's brilliant blog series entitled, "Why guys aren't asking you out". Take my word for it that it's worth carving out time to read...both witty and insightful. Check it out.

This friend and I have had several insightful conversations on this topic. This particular conversation extended over into email, and it was so insightful that I asked him if I could share it with my very small blog community. He gave me permission, so long as I kept his identity undisclosed. You can try to guess who it is, but I will not crack. My promise of anonymity is too important to break.

So again, backstory is that I asked for his thoughts on Andy's blog series, and this was his feedback (take notes):

I think one of the overarching issues is the maturity level of how we view dating, especially as it relates to the initial stages of getting to know someone. We've loaded so much weight, emphasis and assumptions on the first date or two that we've removed the fun, mystery and natural process of just going on a date to get to know someone. Sure there needs to be intention and wisdom with whom we choose to go on a date, but isn't the purpose of the first few dates to simply say "I'm initially attracted to you and would like to learn more about who you are"? We aren't as free as we should be to just relax, have fun, go out and see if there may be more there. Instead, we've created a dating culture that puts too much pressure on a first date so a guy sometimes feels like he needs to "know" before he even asks her out. Perspective is a good thing

Another factor that wears guys out is the game of not immediately asking a girl out because we should "play it cool" for the girl's sake. I can think of several girls that I was interested in asking out but friends close to them said, "With this girl you can't just straight up ask her out. She's the kind of girl you have to be cool, play your cards right and then ask her out." Guys often don't know what this practically looks like and ultimately feel like it's too complicated a process so we just say "she's high-maintenance" or "this girl doesn't know what she wants" or "forget it" and move on. Granted we need a balance here. A girl can't come on strong and needs to be pursued (not the other way around) and a guy can't be too preemptively aggressive either, but I don't see why calling a girl for a healthy, laidback first date needs to be so scrutinized and strategic. Simplicity is a good thing.

I heard someone say recently that asking a girl out is like throwing your fishing line in the water. First you have to throw your hook and bait near the fish just so the fish can get "comfortable" with the bait being near it. Then you have to leave it in the water and move the worm around long enough for the fish to become "interested" in the bait. Then once it "bites" the bait you hook it (ask her out). If a girl is wondering why someone isn't asking her out, there may just be a few guys that are in the process of trying to figure out if she is comfortable, interested and going to bite. And there's a chance that one of her girl friends has given the guy that advice. Consistency is a good thing.

A final thought is to not be the close "friend girl" to a bunch of guys. Guys usually think this kind of girl is cool and just one of the boys. It's a fine status to have as long as you don't want to be asked out. It's good to have a few "just friends" of the opposite sex but don't be the girl that is often the lone female hanging with a bunch of dudes. Guys like to know that a girl has stable, close friendships with other girls. Balance is a good thing.

I hope you've enjoyed this little nugget. Comments and feedback welcome and encouraged.

Childhood Reminder #2: The Movie Purse

I recently went to the movies with a friend and brought the ultimate movie purse. I was like a freakin' Mary Poppins with my movie purse-you never knew what I was going to pull out! Here's the list (don't be jealous, just take mental notes):

-Twizzlers. I've been taking Twizzlers to the movies since I was able to walk and my mom let me ingest sugar. However, I was only able to partake in consuming Twizzlers on special occasions, like going to the movies. So Twizzlers are always a must have. Hey, they "make mouths happy".:)

-Chocolate Candy Bars. My all time favorite is Reese Cups. I've loved them since I was young and discovered that the best taste to hit my tongue was chocolate and peanut butter.

-Bubble gum. This is for when I'm want to take a break from consuming large amounts of sugar and calories, but I don't have the will power to quit, so to satisfy my oral fetish, I chew gum. And not just chewing gum, but bubble gum to keep my mouth even more entertained.

-Bottle of Wine. This is a new edition to the movie purse that I never got to enjoy from Mom's movie purse. Now as an adult, I get to pack a bottle of wine, along with 2 solo cups for me and my lucky movie date to enjoy.

-Hummus and wheat thins. This is my favorite appetizer and a must have with a good bottle of red wine. Popcorn? No way! Give me hummus any day over a bag of greasy popcorn!

Whenever my mom or any friend's moms took us kids to the movies, they always had movie purse in tow. I'm really surprised that after all these years, the movie theaters have not come up with a system to prevent the movie purse. When a mom comes to the ticket window with a purse resembling carry on luggage, they all know that she's sneaking in snacks. Being that technically it's against their policy to bring outside food into the theater, I'm surprised they haven't installed a security check that your movie purse must go through to inspect for outside food and beverages.

Just wait, I wouldn't be surprised if movie patrons will one day have to go through a security line before entering the theater. Until that day comes, I will continue to go to the movies with movie purse in tow.

The Soloist: A human story of love and redemption

There are not many movies where I leave the theater completely drowned in the thoughts that the movie brought to mind, but last night, I had such an emotional experience watching The Soloist. If you're not familiar, the movie is a factitious story about a L.A. Times journalist, Steve Lopez, who befriends Nathaniel Anthony Ayers, a homeless man who happens to be a musical genius robbed of his dreams by mental illness. He's a paranoid schizophrenic unable to successfully function because he is tormented by the voices in his head.

The Soloist was a beautiful story of grace and redemption...much like that of the gospel. You see Steve, a prestigious journalist, humble himself to love and befriend a man that most of the world ignores. Once Steve gets to know Nathaniel his eyes are opened to see his spirit. Underneath his dirty appearance, his cart full of garbage and his craziness, Steve sees a passionate man with an unbelievable gift and a love that he's never known. Steve blesses Nathaniel with opportunity that he had given up on...He even calls Steve his God. Sound familiar? God blesses his people with the same love, grace and redemption.

Towards the end of the movie, Nathaniel's mental illness causes him to turn on Steve. He starts beating Steve up and threatened to "cut him like a fish." But surprisingly, Steve doesn't give up on Nathaniel. Instead, he returns to Skid Row to find his friend and treats him as though the incident never happened. You see in Nathaniel's eyes that this is a love that he has never experienced before. Isn't that how we are with God? In spite of His unfailing love and blessing, we deny, disobey and sin against Him, but yet He continues to love us as if nothing happened. What a beautiful picture of grace!

What else broke me about The Soloist is the reality of the situation. When I have spent time with the homeless in the past, the majority of them are mentally disturbed, but I've never thought much about their lives before the streets...I've never imagined that at one time, they could have had a legitimately promising future. After seeing this movie, I believe there are many Nathaniels out there on the streets. There's 90,000 homeless in the streets of L.A. alone, and so many of these people had dreams, had ambitions, had a future...and they were robbed by mental illness. They are out there wandering the streets confused, displaced and dismissed from society. This movie showed the power that simple love and friendship can have on the spirit of a person...everyone needs a friend and to be shown the love of Jesus.

If you haven't seen The Soloist, go see it.